Face Down in My World

The fastest man in the world, fast asleep at the wheel
Nobody wants to be alone, so how did I get, here?

God, I hate him. I hate him a lot. That damned bastard…
But, why do I hate him? I don’t know. I just do.
Maybe I just don’t want to be left alone. I mean, sure, I’ll have Kaoru, but it won’t be the same. Not without Haruhi…

When I look at you, I see him staring through
Awake and a smile, ‘cause he's been inside of you

When I look at her, I can almost see the bastard in her eyes.
I thought I had forgiven him. Guess I was wrong. Not after he came back into the picture.

Is he all the things you, tried to change me into?
Is he everything to you?

I wonder if she…no, Haruhi wouldn’t do that. She wouldn’t use anyone as a replacement for someone else.
…Would she?
I mean, he seems like…everything to her, really.
But, if she was just using me as a replacement, then why is she still hanging around, now that he’s back? Even though she doesn’t come often, at least she still shows up occasionally, right? At least she still talks to me…
…Right?

Does he make you high, make you real?
Does he make you cry? Does he know the way you feel?
Love is all around you, your universe is full.
But in my world, there is only you

Sometimes, I’ll run into the both of them on the streets. Kaoru and I (Well, when Kaoru’s with me…) will wave, they’ll wave back, and then we continue on our separate ways.
But it means more to me now, when she doesn’t talk to me or anything, because Kaoru hasn’t been around much. He won’t say why, he just says he’s busy. So, whenever she talks to me, I don’t feel lonely anymore. Too bad that’s not very often…

I can still find the smell,
on my clothes and skin

Heh, it’s kind of funny. I sometimes am still able to smell her on some of my shirts; even if they’ve been washed innumerable times since she last touched me.

I can still see your face, when you’re sleeping next to him
Is he all the things you, tried to change me into?

Sometimes, the after-image of her sleeping next to him will stay with me for hours on end, and I can’t get it out of my head…
I wonder if she was trying to change me into another him, before he came back?
No. She wouldn’t do that. Not sweet, innocent little Haruhi. Well…
I think so, anyway…
God, I’m so messed up…

Tell me does he make you high, make you real?
Does he make you cry? Does he know the way you feel?
Love is all around you; your universe is full.
But in my world…

You seem like she’s high when she’s around him, or something. So…giddy…happy…it’s funny, really. Sigh…
Sometimes…when I look at her, after she’s been out with him for a while, there’s a little bit of redness around her eyes. Like she’s been crying, or something. But I don’t want to push her, so I never mention it. I’ll probably regret it sometime in the future, but there you go.

I've had enough of fears, you let them out.
Now I wrap myself around you,
Like a blanket full of doubt
The darkness grows!
The sunlight stings!
He's your everything.

Before, I wasn’t afraid of getting emotionally hurt, because I knew, or, thought I knew, that Kaoru would never leave me. And, I didn’t have any other friends. Just me and him.
But now, I don’t want her to leave. I don’t want to loose Haruhi. But, regardless of what I want, it’s happening anyway. He’s pulling her away from me.
I decide to head into the Third Music Room, just to be alone long enough to be able to think clearly.
I get there and open the door. But, what surprises me is that, to my astonishment she’s sitting there alone, with her head bowed, hair covering her eyes.
This was a surprise because, not only did she not really come here often, but also because she would normally have gone home by now.
            “Haruhi?” I ask. She lifts her head up, and I’m shocked to see tears running down her face.
            “H-Hika-ru…Anou…” Haruhi wiped her face with her sleeve, and looked back up at me.
            “Haru-chan, what happened? Daijoubu desu ka?” I used my nickname for her, in hopes of it calming her down. It worked, slightly.
            “N-nothing…I just…I don’t know…but, I’ll be f-fine…” She sniffed, after-tears (A\N: made that up. XD) still gathered at the corners of her beautiful chestnut brown eyes.
            “Is it nothing? Or do you just not want to tell me? Does it have something to do with…with him?”
            “Iie, iie, iie!” She denied, “It’s not…it doesn’t have anything to do with Arai-kun!”
I raised a skeptical eyebrow, but merely put my arm around her shoulders, acting as a blanket of sorts.

Does he make you high, make you real?
Does he make you cry? Does he know the way you feel?
Love is all around you; your universe is full.
But in my world…

She sniffed once. Twice. Three times. Then she broke out into sobs that were muffled by my Ouran shirt.
            “A-anou…H-Haru-chan…” I didn’t really know what to do…
So, I confessed. Plainly, of course. I had no idea as to how to say it, so I just came out and…said it.
            “I love you, Haruhi.”
I mean, of course I had told her that before. But this time, I said it with sure sincerity. She looked up at me, her tear-stained face brightened just a bit.
            “I-I love you t-too, H-Hika-kun…”

You make me high! You make me real!
You make me cry! Now you know the way I feel
Love is all around you, your universe is full
But in my world…

I continued to coo into her ear, telling her to “Shush” and that it’s “Gonna be alright.” I, personally, didn’t know if my words were true or not. But, as long as they made her feel better, it was worth giving it a shot.
“Y-you really, really love m-me?” Haruhi asked, lifting her head up to look at me with serious eyes that seemed to bore into my soul, seeking the truth, and the truth only. Even in her current state, it seemed that if I lied, she would know immediately, so I didn’t see any way I could lie to her.
“Of course. The only one second to you is Kaoru, and that’s only because he’s my twin,” I winked, she laughed, and everything seemed better.

Keyword: seemed.

There is only you.

.Two Years Later.

It’s been two years since that moment in the Third Music Room. Since then, everyone in the Host Club has graduated, and the Club, for the most part, broke apart.
Of course, we try to keep in-touch as much as possible. I especially try to keep an eye-out for Haruhi.
Kaoru has noticed this, and has encouraged me as much as he can. But, with his collage homework, plus the part-time job that he’s recently gotten, he isn’t around much. And, when he is, we don’t have much time to talk.
I am currently walking around town, following you and Arai, making sure he’s being a good boy.
Up until now, things seemed to be going fine. Up until now, that is.

Hey, girl, you know you drive me crazy
one look puts the rhythm in my hand.
Still I'll never understand why you hang around
I see what's going down.

I know that he’s not always nice. I’ve witnessed you two fight verbally before. Once, I saw him slap you once, and went in and stopped him from doing anything more…severe to you.
Of course, I got accused of following you around, but I didn’t care. As long as I made sure he didn’t hurt you. Since then, I’ve followed you with renewed vigor, becoming a stalker of sorts. Seeing the way he treats you sometimes, I wonder why you’re still with him…

Cover up with makeup in the mirror
tell yourself, it's never gonna happen again
you cry alone and then he swears he loves you.

I’ve noticed that you wear makeup.
A lot of makeup, which isn’t like you at all.
I can see the way you tell yourself he’s not gonna do it again, but I know otherwise.
You cry all by yourself when you think no one’s around, then he finds you and “comforts” you, telling you that he loves you, when he’s the reason for your tears.
That god damned bastard.

Also, I’ve noticed that you’ve started hanging around me a bit more often. For this, I am glad beyond words. Perhaps…maybe…just maybe…I can get you back on your feet?

A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
every action in this world will bear a consequence
If you wade around forever, you will surely drown
I see what's going down.

I’m pulled back into the present by Arai pulling you off to the side, into an alleyway, and out the other side. I followed quickly, worried for your safety. It wasn’t just the movement that brought me out of my musings, it was the slightly raised voices.

I’ve heard a phrase that goes something like “Every action in the world will have its consequences.”
Well, Arai-kun, we’re about to test that theory.

I see the way you go and say you're right again,
say you're right again
heed my lecture

You’re now fighting. Verbally, thank god.
Hah, he thinks he’s right all the time. I feel like giving a nice, long lecture.

He pushed you against the wall, holding you there. Your arms are level with your head, and he’s obviously hurting you.
I clench my fists in a fit of fury, but I wait, nonetheless. I didn’t want to show myself just yet. You’ve gotten yourself out of this kind of situation before; perhaps you’ll to it again?
But then, he throws you to the ground. I don’t know how much longer I can hold it in, before I go rushing over there and punch the freaking shit out of the bastard.

Face down in the dirt, she said,
‘This doesn't hurt, she said,
‘I finally had enough.’
Face down in the dirt, she said
‘This doesn’t hurt’ she said,
‘I finally had enough.’

I’m still standing in the shadows, looking as if my head’s about to explode. It felt like it, too. Watching him hurt you like that, it enraged me.

One day she will tell you that she has had enough
it's coming round again.

One day (Maybe this day?) you’ll tell him to leave. Or maybe you’ll leave. Either one is fine with me, really. I just have to convince myself of that, and I can stay where I am.

Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.
Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

I couldn’t take it anymore. He had slapped you again. I couldn’t stand it.
            “So, Arai-kun,” I said, in a deadly, murderously low tone that I didn’t know I was capable of, “do you feel like a man- do you feel in control, when you push her around? Do you feel better now? Huh?”
            “Hikaru, ne? What are you doing here?”
            “Aww, not happy to see me? Well, good. ‘Cause I’m not too happy with you, either!”
            “Hika-kun, stop! I can handle this!”
            “Apparently, you can’t!” I said, looking at you sternly, yet affectionately. I loved you, and I couldn’t help that, Then again, it’s because I love you that I’m doing this...
Then, you looked up at Arai with a new fire in your eyes, new determination.

Face down in the dirt, she said,
“This doesn’t hurt,” She said, “I’ve finally had enough.”

Both Arai and I looked at you in surprise.
            “I thought I could bear it, because I thought I loved you. But, recently, I’ve acknowledged the fact that...I don’t love you,” You deadpanned.
            “D-demo...Haruhi....”
            “Oh, NOW, you don’t want her to go?!?! I’ll beat you to a pulp, you bastard! Look at what you’ve done to her!! I’ve witnessed most of your fights, so you can’t tell me none of it happened!” Rage flared up again, clouding my better judgment.
“Hika-kun, no,” Haruhi said, standing up and looking at me, “Let’s just go.”
I blinked. “Demo, Haru-chan-!”
You gave me a look, and I shut up and followed you like an obedient puppy. Not, of course, before giving Arai one last, murderous glare that clearly said “come anywhere near her again, and I’ll kill you.”

“Anou...domo arigatou, Hika-kun,” Haruhi said, after walking in silence for a bit.
“Heh, I should be thanking you, really.” She looked at me quizzically, so I explained, “I’ve been worried about you. I knew what he was doing, but I also knew that I couldn’t really do anything about it. You had to be the one to do it. And, now that you have, I’m glad. Because it means I know you’re safe.”
She smiled.
I quickly looked around and, deciding that no one would care or notice, gave her a small, quick kiss on the lips.
She blinked in surprise, then smiled again.
“Anou, gomen...I just wanted to-“She pulled me down and kissed me, a rather bold move on her part. I wasted no time in responding and, soon, our tongues were battling each other in our mouths.
It was a moment of pure bliss and ecstasy; a moment in which only her and I existed.
Her and I.

Haruhi Fujioka and Hikaru Hitachiin.

In love.